One week...

A week ago our lives changed so unbelievably. 

On Wed night last week after Gene got off work, we went through Baby O's bedroom and were going through what still needed to be done...just a little bit of painting to finish the leaves in the corner of the room, where the pictures were going to be on the wall and the last few items we needed to buy still.  Gene decided he was going to tackle the painting and pictures after he got home from our doctor appointment the next morning.

The next morning, we headed to our doctor appointment.  Everything seemed normal with me and with the baby until the doctor put the heart doppler on my stomach.  She searched for several minutes and never could locate Baby O's heartbeat.  It had never taken long in all of our past appointments.  She called the nurse to have us go see the sonogram nurse.  That was the longest wait.  When we finally got in there, we were completely devastated.  The nurse said she could not find a heartbeat and went to go get the doctor to have her check.  Our doctor confirmed that there was nothing...no heartbeat, no blood going to our sweet little baby through the umbilical cord.  She cried with us right there in the room. 

We drove home in tears, so confused and numb to what we just found out.  How could this be happening to us, to our baby?  Why?  What happened? 

We threw a bag together as fast as we could...I had started packing a bag earlier in the week for the hospital visit we thought we would have in a few more weeks.  We had no clue if we had everything or not, but...we just went with what we had.  Gene somehow managed to make phone calls to my work and his work to let them know we had lost Baby O and that we would not be in. 

We got to the hospital and checked in at the front desk.  That was quite difficult to do.  The lady did not know the situation and asked if I was in labor.  I think she quickly understood when I started crying again and shook my head no.  She got a wheelchair very quickly and took us up to the 3rd floor. 

The nurses took us to a quiet room at the end of the hall where we were the only people.  They were so incredibly kind and understanding to us during our time at the hospital.  I felt horrible for our nurse Kari, it was her first day back to work after being out for 6 months...she had quadruplets (and they were natural even) and had been out with them.  They went through the admitting process with us in the room, got my IV started and gave me meds for starting my labor.  Our doctor came to see us shortly after we got in to explain what would go on, that I would go through labor and deliver our sweet Baby O, that we would get as much time with Baby O as we needed, and that hopefully we would be able to get some answers.  She cried with us again. 

Shortly after, a little girl who looked like she was still in high school came to get blood for some blood work that had been ordered for me.  She hooked me up and started drawing blood and drawing, and drawing.  Finally a few minutes later she said she was done.  I looked down at the vials and was quite shocked.  I asked her how many vials she had, she replied that she stopped counting at 11.  She took them over to the counter and labeled them...21 vials. 

Labor ended up being fairly quick and somewhat easy and surprised the nurses.  Our doctor had also approved that I could get whatever pain meds I needed, so that was helpful, although I only got one dose of some crazy narcotic that knocked me out for a good 2 hours and an epidural (worth it).  They expected at least 24 hours.  In the end it took less than 12 hours.  Gene and I were hoping that we could be done on Sept 13, so our 10th wedding anniversary would not be completely devastated...even though from now on it will be a bittersweet time for us.  I guess Owen knew that he should come at this time. 

Our sweet baby Owen Eugene was born at 11:01 pm on Sept 13.  He was 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 20 3/4 inches long.  He was beautiful!

We got to spend a good amount of time holding and loving him.  We cried so much with him in our arms...still not understanding and asking a lot of questions...why, how, what?  We had and still have so much love to give to our baby Owen. 

He was baptized and given last rites by Father Rick sometime that night.  He was so kind for coming in during the middle of the night to baptize Owen and to pray with us. 

We still do not have any answers on why from the doctor at this point in time.  Maybe in a few weeks we will have some.  Although, we will never understand completely. 

We are so thankful for our doctor and the nurses...they made our pain and suffering a bit easier by how well they treated us and took care of us in our time of need.  They were quite amazing. 

We are so grateful for our family and friends who sent such kind prayers, words, thoughts, meals, flowers, plants and so much more that we will never be able to pay you back. 

We miss you so much Owen.  You are the love of our lives.  We will think of you always and keep you in our hearts forever.