Tis the season

As I am writing out Christmas cards this year, it is a bit hard to close out this year without Owen being with us. 

A year ago we moved back to the US, we moved in to our new house and started on our next adventure.  Gene was looking for a new job and applying at many different places.  We had to find a new washer/dryer and stove for the house.  We were excited to get all of our stuff from storage that we had not seen in a little over 3 years.  We were a little sad that we did not decorate our new house for Christmas...we did not really have the time or energy...we got our things on Dec 20 and with trying to unpack, get ready for Christmas, settle in, etc.  But, we were happy to be home again.  I did manage to get Christmas/new address cards out...it was fun to design those because we got to reminisce on our adventures of the year while picking out our pictures!! 

The year was going pretty well...we found out at the end of January that we were expecting.  We were so excited!!  We waited almost 10 years for this and had finally decided it was time.  Gene got a job at the jail in February...I think he was excited to get back in to the work force again after 3 years.  Although, working 2nd shift isn't the easiest for us.  March was a bit crazy...we decided not only were we moving home, settling in to a new house, starting a family and decided to add a new puppy to the mix.  We got Buttercup from a breeder near home...she is a cocker spaniel that was born close to Valentine's day.  She is blonde with brown and white freckles on her nose and under her mouth.  She kept us busy for sure.  :)  We also told our families and friends that we were expecting in March.  Boy were they excited!!  We are the last in both of our families to have kids.

May brought about the opening of our pool!!!  I was quite ready to use it.  :)  We officially used it the weekend of Gene's birthday...or at least I did!  The water was a bit cool the first month or so but once the unbearable heat set in, it was so nice!  I really loved having the pool.  Plus, being in the water helped keep swelling down, another plus!  We had family over several times to use the pool and some of my friends came over after work many times!  :)  Buttercup found out quickly that she had a pool size water dish.  She loved to drink the pool water over her water dish.  Swim...not so much for her.  The pool did develop a diver in the Brusky family and all the boys are fish anyway!  I think they used the pool almost as much as I did.  :) 

We had a great baby shower with family and friends at home at the end of July and then my co-workers hosted one at the end of August.  We were so excited for Baby O to get here!!  :) 

This summer we also got to go back to the State Fair!  We missed it last year...all the fried food, ice cream, lemon shake-ups...and even better since I was pregnant and really wanted it all!!  :) 

August, I spent most of my evenings trying to do some things around the house to get ready for Baby O...working on the baby blanket, getting the room ready, washing everything, etc.  I was still pretty good with my energy so I wanted to take advantage of it.  Plus, we took our baby classes at the hospital during August.

Then September hit...I had a week of training the week of Labor Day.  I started to get sick with a cold that week.  I could tell my energy was zapped...I came home and was wiped every night that week.  Gene had an entire weekend off of work, so we decided to take a quick weekend trip to Indy.  One last get away before Baby O arrived and to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.  In the past, we had always taken a trip around this time of year and so we wanted to do something little.  We went to Indy...used hotel points (thanks to Hamburg) to stay at a great hotel downtown, walked around downtown, saw the canal front area, enjoyed the sunshine, did a tiny bit of shopping, ate some great food at Bucca de Bepa's and Hard Rock (of course), went to the zoo and then headed home.  I came back and was wiped still...looking back at this time, I now understand that I was fighting the virus I got. 

Then that Thursday everything changed. 

A year ago, I would have never realized that my life would have changed the way it did.  I expected it to change, as we were planning to have a baby a year ago, but never realized it would end up the way it did. 

As I was filling out our Christmas cards, I realized that I have to acknowledge that Owen is part of our family, so our cards are signed "Love, Gene, Angela (occasionally Buttercup) and Owen from up above"...he is part of our family and will always be. 

The upcoming holidays are going to be rough (heck they already are), so if we don't feel as cheery as we normally are, we apologize in advance.  I'm grateful for online shopping for sure this year!!!  I did most of my shopping that way...and for any in store shopping, I planned it out and really had to just block my mind to get through.  It helps to do shopping during the day when most people are at work or school.  Although, there were still times when I was shopping and something would catch my eye and cause me to tear up...I just had to walk away quickly and block it out of my mind, if possible.  Like today when I walked by the baby section at Wal-Mart and saw fleece Christmas pj's that looked so warm and cozy and would have been great for Owen.

Here is hoping for a better year in 2013!  We are hoping for a good start as we meet with the specialist towards the beginning of January.  Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we still try to find answers to why Owen's death happened.  We still do not have any straight-forward answers beyond the virus that I had.