6 months

Wow, I can't believe it has been 6 months since you came in to this world and went to heaven my sweet little monkey Owen.  It has gone so fast and I miss you so much!!!  I haven't had a lot of time to process today exactly, but definitely have been anticipating this day.  Today seems a bit bigger than the other months (although I feel as an infant each month is a big milestone).  Monday was a bad night.  I had not been thinking about this day coming and then all of a sudden it hit me that you would be 6 months old this week.  I had fallen asleep and then woke up when Gene came home (Buttercup was barking) and ended up not being able to go back to sleep until sometime after 2.  Rough night...  Tuesday was better, but I sort of put it out of my mind.  Today, I did not have the ability to think about it...I focused on the training I was at, had a hair appointment and then was headed to the grocery store to pick up some things for a Friday potluck at work, when my sister texted me to say that they had been thinking about us today, that Owen is in their hearts and minds, and that Sam loves that Owen sends him pennies from heaven! 

It made me so happy that they were thinking about us today...it made me wonder who else even remembered that today was his 6 month birthday...did anyone else remember (I'm sure there were some others) or were they just not sure what to say to us?  Yes, it did make me cry, but it made me so very happy to know that they love him and miss him too and I LOVE that Sam and Owen have that connection!  I then suddenly had the need to go to the cemetery and be near him.  I was right at the spot where I needed to turn, so I just did it without thinking about it.  It was the first time I went by myself and it was good to go, but hard too...to see the slightly sunken in ground where he is at, so small compared to the others, and to know enough time has gone by that the grass has pretty much all grown back.  Since we don't have our stone done yet, does anyone else just walking by know that you are there?  Then I started thinking, who else has a template for a stone design for their baby at their house sitting on the table (Gene is designing part of it) and that instead of taking pictures to show how big their baby is on these milestone days, who else does something or buys something to remember their baby?  I know that there are a lot of parents out there doing something simliar and I feel their pain on these days especially. 

Unfortunately, when I got home I got the mail and found out the new Babies R Us spring sale starts in the next few days, got more formula coupons and a new email from a store that I have never visited in person or online...but since I get their main store emails, I'm sure they decided to send it to me too.  Great birthday presents for Owen.  :(  But, I also had a good moment when I got home...the tulips we planted last fall are starting to peek out...just hope they don't die off because of this crazy weather.