Day 10 - Beliefs:
Hmmm...I posted recently that my beliefs are changing after this last year. But, this is the one thing that has not changed...I know that Owen is in heaven and we'll eventually join him there.
Day 11 - Triggers:
My triggers have changed in the last year.
The first days...it was things like just opening up Owen's nursery to find an outfit that we would bury him in. That day was extremely hard...going through all the clothes we had bought or got as gifts and already imagined Owen in. I could barely get through the door without collapsing on the floor in tears. It was really every little thing around our house that reminded me of him. My sister had gone through the house and gathered the big things up for us out of the main rooms, which helped.
The mail still gets me...why do the dang stores have to ask for your due date?! The stores will not be getting a due date in the future. Or Babies R Us not allowing you to delete your registry so they continue to send you things on key dates or when milestones should be happening. I am glad that we mostly have everything we need so we won't need to register again.
There are still little things that will get me every now and then, but I do like getting little reminders of Owen telling us he loves us. I've tried to think about the triggers as positives. It doesn't always work that way, but sometimes...
This was one of the worst triggers at the beginning...it was what Owen would have been coming home from the hospital in. His little monster outfit. It is still sitting in this exact spot in his room, on his changing pad, on his dresser. I occasionally just go look at it and think of how adorable he would have been in it. It came with a white sleeper that said mommy's little monster...that is what we buried him in. It also came with the most adorable little monster hat...that went with him in his tiny little casket. OK...tearing up now...
Day 12 - Article:
I really love reading a lot of the articles on Still Standing Magazine. This is a recent one that I really liked. It is not only the magazine but the online community of pregnancy and infant loss parents that I enjoy. It is where I have found other blogs that I have found, as well as becoming friends with some other mama's. To have someone who understands and can relate to what you have been through helps so much. One of my favorite ones to keep up on is Carly Marie (she writes for Still Standing and has her own blog/website, along with the artwork she creates). This is her artwork for the month of October. She is the creator of this project - Capture Your Grief.
Day 13 - Book:
I think the book I helped me think about my pregnancy and all the good times we had with Owen was when I was filling out his baby book, actually. This baby book was great! I loved filling it out for Owen. :) You can find it here.
Day 14 - Family:
This is the most recent family picture we have. It is missing one big thing...our sweet Owen should be here...instead this picture was taken 1 year to the day we had his funeral and buried him. The last day we got to see our little boy in person. We have some amazing supportive family and friends that we consider family, who have been there for us, help us to honor Owen and never forget him. We are extremely grateful for you and cannot thank you enough.
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