Day 16 - 20 - Capture Your Grief

I'm behind again on this.  Sorry!  I've been a bit busy this last week. 

Day 16 - Seasons:
Each season has its own meaning to me.  Owen's first year would have been so wonderful to see him experience each one of the seasons, holidays and to see him grow, develop his personality, learn so much and just be here with us through them all.  It would have been amazing!
Fall - this was when Owen was born and I was so looking forward to spending the maternity leave with him during the fall...Halloween, Thanksgiving, going to the pumpkin patch...
Winter - I would have still been on my maternity leave through the end of December...Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, nights by the fireplace...
Spring - Easter, St. Patrick's Day, blooming flowers, warm weather...
Summer - pool time!!, state fair, Cardinal's games, long days, hot weather, vacation time together...

In my mind there were so many things we would have done.  Each picture is one from this last year and all are missing Owen. 

Day 17 - Time:
We found out on Jan 23, 2012 that we were pregnant with our baby.  Our due date was Oct 7, 2012.  Owen was born at 11:01 pm on Sept 13, 2012.  It has been 1 year, 1 month and 7 days since Owen was born.  It has been 1 year, 1 month and 2 days since his funeral and the last time we saw our sweet Owen.  It feels like minutes ago, but still feels like forever ago.  It has been 5 months and 23 days since we lost our little angel on April 27, 2013.  I can remember one week before that finding out we were pregnant one more time.  It feels like yesterday sitting in that doctor's office 6 more days after losing our angel and finding out that I needed to have surgery that day to remove my right tube because our angel was ectopic.  It has been a long journey in this last almost 2 years with many ups and downs.  I will treasure every minute of it...always.  I will love you...always. 

Day 18 - Release:
I am able to release my thoughts, fears, hopes, guilt, anger...all of it...through writing here and in my journal.  I find release through searching for you in the moments, like finding a penny in the parking lot the other night, seeing butterflies, hearing or seeing your name, doing things in your honor, decorating your grave and so much more.  It all gives me joy and reminds me of you.  This was taken after the Walk to Remember. 

Day 19 - Support:
My husband, Gene, has been the biggest support I have had the last year.  He has often put aside his grief and feelings to put on a brave face for me.  He worried about me not eating in the months after.  He made lots of food to hopefully get me to eat.  He took care of me and kept me going.  He is my rock.  I love him More Than Words.  :)

We have had a lot of support from our families and friends, as well (I don't want to leave them out!!)  There has been several who have not been supportive, but the others have outshone them.  For those, we are very grateful.  We could not have made it through!  Thank you so very much! 

Day 20 - Hope:
We are trying to keep up hope that eventually we will be blessed with a child that will come home with us.  This song inspires hope...Somewhere Over the Rainbow...I first heard this version of the song on our Mediterranean cruise sung by Red and it has been my favorite since.  :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=V1bFr2SWP1I